20 July 2009

Love and Happiness?

This summer is flying by.
I don't know where it's gone. I'm not complaining I'm just saying.

It's really weird but I've been thinking about marriage and such a lot. I say that I don't want to or am not terribly keen on it often,but in reality, it's a beautiful thing. I can only pray that one day I'll find someone who loves me at the same time that I love them and then we choose to live together forever.
However there are so many scary things about it.
This lady came in today, an older woman, and I said hi to her per usual. She was sending off a vintage golf bag to her grandson. It was her husband's. Her husband who has been deceased for a decade. She said sending the golf bag was still one of the hardest things she's ever had to do,even after 10 years of not having him around.
Her round, kind eyes teared up and I wanted to give her a hug,but didn't.
I didn't know what to say as the only heartbreak I've encountered was trite compared to losing the love of one's life, confirmed through their commitment and her continued love.
She took comfort in her 5 children and 15 grandchildren,but still missed the man that made them all possible.
It struck me how beautiful that type of commitment is, but also how colossally it would suck to live your whole life wondering if you would be loved, finally finding it/accepting it and then losing it.
Even watching How I Met Your Mother has me all pensive. Lily and Marshall?Too precious and wonderful.
I can only hope...

So much to think about.

13 July 2009

Arrete Arrived

After months of waiting, I finally received my "Arrete de nomination" this is the document that tells the Consulate in Chi-town that I'm legit and brings me that much closer to going back.
I was so thankful to receive it today.
Last Friday, I had a really big hopeful feeling that I would receive it in the mail. Instead I received the bras that I ordered in the mail.
Something from France, however, did not come.
But today at work I come from the back room to see my mum in a cute yellow top and she looks regular.
She steps up to the counter and is like "I believe I have to mail to this to Nantes", she handed me my arrete and i nearly jumped over and hugged her. Instead I ran from behind the counter.
In retrospect, I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with French government at times. Even though many and most administrators are slow I keep hoping they change. They don't.
But then they perform a small gesture, like they're trying to get better, and I rethink leaving them...
It's kind of a shame.

This little document makes it seem real.
I have schools that I'm assigned to and a city where I'm supposed to live. (a Beach city, that being said, not sure if I'll live there or not...on verra)
Now I get to plan on going to Chicago which I'm kind of stoked for and maybe NY, NY to visit that crazy Aussi.

This ish just got real.