31 March 2009

Across the Universe...

So yesterday I sent in my application for THE PR internship in Paris.
To say it would be a dream internship wouldn't be hyperbolic. It would be absolutely amazing.
I can't even wrap my head around how great it could be... and I honestly don't know my chances. I'm trying to dance the cautious optimism with the reality of the world. Everyone and their mum is looking for a job. I'm sure there are plenty of other students who would love this opportunity and thus the market for this internship is probably tight. My father reminded me that he's confident that I'm qualified and a great fit,but that there are two options, either I'm selected or not.
I know there's the "not" possibility,but it profits me nothing to dwell on that side. I've always considered myself an optimist and sometimes I'm disappointed,but more times than not, I'm pleasantly surprised. (so maybe that makes me a sometimes pessimist?)
I think in general I'd rather be disappointed every once in awhile than cynical for the majority of life.
My friend Vito just finished his Master's in Italy and decided and is moving to Brussels to find work there.
That's so brave to me. I wish him the best of luck and such...
This guy I've seen for the past 4 years introduced himself to me yesterday and asked me out for coffee.

30 March 2009

Fitness Assessment

I have a fitness assessment today.
I did(really) well on the first one, but I still occasionally flashback to President's Fitness Challenges that irked me in elementary school.
One year we had an obese, masculine woman screaming at us to run faster, jump higher, etc. She implored us in the grand Olympian style and yet, walked slower than my grandmother who was suffering from lupus.
The next year, I had two great PE teachers, Ms. Kirkland and Ms. Cloutier. They were fit
Anyway, after spring break and eating fried everything over the break I realised that I wanted(felt the need) to get my body right.
While I was in Bordeaux even though I was eating my dear chocolatines and gelato and other bread everyday, I was also running several miles a day.
I need to get back to that. I was on fiyah or "fit" as the Brits liked to say.

I again did an 8:07 mile and 30 pushups in a minute which is better than 25 the first time.
New goal, style on myself and get it below 8:00. This is going to require discipline...

Or a huge gym coach yelling at me...

22 March 2009

I am currently freaking the f out.
And I don't like it.
I was slapped in the face by reality when I re-realised that in 8 weeks I will be a graduate of OU and no longer have a set schedule/plan etc. Which is what I want. what I've worked for and now it's here and It's pretty bloody scary.
To cope with this I finished a box of thin mints as well as had a scoop of nutella.
I'm still freaking out.
I'm trying to remember my favourite verse, well one of, Jeremiah 29:11 about Him knowing the plans he has for me, plans to propser me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future,but I am legitimately shaken.
The calendar is now my enemy. I have TOO much stuff I need to and want to do before THE END.
I'm also reminded of Duffy's advice to chill the eph out, and I'm about to in the form of sleeping...hopefully I can sleep this off.

10 March 2009

Stylin' and other thoughts...

*I'm sore. and glad of it.
I've recently begun rock climbing. Like yesterday, and I'm already addicted. I've wanted to for the past three years and finally decided to just do it yesterday. I'm alright so far, I didn't fall yesterday which is great and each time I took to the wall, I became a little less afraid of falling.
How applicable to life.
*I hope that I will retain that resiliency in all aspects of my life...speaking of resiliency.
It's been almost a year since the breaking and it's amazing to think about where I was emotionally and where I am now.
It's funny, because I'm starting to read over my notes , e-mails and journal entries from the beginning to the end of my time over there and the part where he was in it,at least in France, was crazy. So much self-doubt and confusion. Which some of that might have been healthy because I've never had a reason to doubt myself in that way, ever and a certain amount of self-analysis is beneficial and healthy,but I don't think towards the end it was at all and I wanted to hang on so long.Just the other day I was reading over an e-mail and thought "if only I had...perhaps I would have kept him".That's silly of course. You can't keep someone (anyone actually) but especially not one who doesn't want to be with you.
Oh but how I pray for him so often. I used to breathe prayers for him and now it's triggered. Baby steps.
*I've internalised that I am at my happiest when a)I'm around international friends or at an international event b)with my friends and family (don't get it twisted I LOVE my four closest friends and family but I LOVE being in new places and new experiences. That means I probably need to chunk up the deuce to these shores soon.
*It annoys me a lot when people make fun of my major. Each major program has its strengths and weaknesses and each college has it's attractions and drawbacks.It's easy for me because I'm good at it. I don't think that everyone can write well especially people that aren't creative.
*I'm a complex person. I'm easy-going, personable etc.,but I'm human. I wish people wouldn't try me...
That's all. Very random, but that's it.

08 March 2009

I love you USPS!

I'm beaming right now.
I sent mon cher his birthday/Christmas gift last Monday(His birthday is tomorrow) and he's received it already! Usually I'm no big fan of the USPS because they take forever and there's no guarantee on when your package will get anywhere,but the one time I really wanted something to arrive ina timely manner, with no expectations of it actually doing so(see last post) IT DID!
I'm just so contente.
I'm sooo happy/thankful for some reason. Like I'm sitting in the library beaming because he received it and was happy and loved it.
I miss him a lot and it's always so good to talk to him.
The greatest thing is that he said just out of the blue while chatting on Facebook Chat "I miss our great conversations". That brought a smile to my whole body. That's a beautiful thing to miss...
We got on so well together it makes me wonder what would have happened had we had more time...je sais pas. I'm just incredibly thankful for him and all that he was and is.
I've always thought it was beautiful creating a smile in someone and feel very grateful that someone does that for me, even from across the Atlantic.

Today is a beautiful day and I'm in an incredibly thankful mood. I didn't go to church today,but I've been sending up praises to God all day because of how incredibly gorgeous it is.

In other news, Mexico is doing too much. No es bueno...

01 March 2009

close your eyes and i'll kiss you,tomorrow i'll miss you...

All My Loving by the Beatles

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you
Tomorrow I'll miss you
Remember I'll always be true

And then while I'm away
I'll write home every day
And I'll send all my loving to you

I'll pretend that I'm kissing
The lips that I am missing
And hope that my dreams will come true

And then while I'm away
I'll write home every day
And I'll send all my loving to you

All my loving, I will send to you
All my loving, darling I'll be true

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you
Tomorrow I'll miss you
Remember I'll always be true

And then while I'm away
I'll write home every day
And I'll send all my loving to you

All my loving, I will send to you
All my loving, darling I'll be true
All my loving, all my loving
Ooh, all my loving, I will send to you.

Mon cher's birthday is a week from tomorrow. I'm sending him his Noel/Anniversaire(Christmas/Birthday) gift tomorrow. It won't reach him time,but it's not time sensitive either.
We aren't together,but we keep in touch regularly. I'm actually surprised at how regularly we write letters. It's a lost art and he believes in it as much as I do.I think it's the French love of nostalgia...anyway he makes me smile and tries to make my French better. And I hope that I add some sort of happiness to his life too.
And I'm perfectly content with that.
I was thinking about the Beatles' "All My Lovin'" and heard a great rendition by Amy Winehouse. One of my favourite songs and one of my favourite singers. It, like Julien, brought a smile to me.