27 July 2007

Gathering my thoughts. And belongings.

So I am officially one week a way from completing my internship. I'm so sad and I'm finding it harder and harder to believe that I'm actually fixin' to go back. However,I am anxious to return to a place where"fixin' to" is not an anomaly but a way of life.
It's scary to think how much I have learned and grown in so many ways. I left the country for the first time(no, I don't count Mexico) I've met some amazing guys(Amen! Hallelujah!) and have grown closer to the person I want to be.
I've also decided on some good ways to live. It's become one of my catchphrases ;)
*Setting up boundaries is key to life:
I let this girl stay with me from my internship because she was in need and needed a place to stay. I'm not a saint, so I don't know why I let this ingrate annoy me for so long. I ALWAYS intended for it to be temporary and I guess she didn't. She stayed for about 4 weeks grating on my nerves making my life a little less happy and I regret that I didn't ask her to leave earlier.
Moral of the Story(MOS) had I had the chutzpah to tell her when to go(tell me when to go...) I might have still liked this individual. This is not the case. I found out that she was ungrateful,feckless and just not a good person.
*Being assertive is a good way to live:
Some editor at the school paper thought it would be a good idea to talk(write?) crazy to me after I have helped her this whole summer with columns because she needed assistance. Instead of being hurt, I kindly sent her an e-mail explaining how her actions were unnecessary and uncalled for. I wasn't rude.very,but I did let her know she had no right to act so disdainfully toward me. I'm not conceited,but I think I'm an alright gal.
* Embracing life to the fullest is a good way to live:
I've done so many awesome things this summer, that I never would have thought possible.Traveling overseas, interning 9 to 6, living in D.C. none of this would have been possible or as fulfilling had I not been open to embrace what life had to offer. I actually, as corny as this sounds remember OU's first president's remark "What possibilities!" This is a good way to live.
* I've gained sooooo many books.
I basically have resumed reading like a fiend. An activity that the academic year often hinders but reading for pleasure is absolutely one of my favourite activities.
* Amongst many other good ways to live is being open to friendship. Through my internship and traveling I've met so many upstanding,outstanding people. Genuinely amazing people that I wish to keep with me forever. In my pocket. Well, not so much because that would suffocate them. Point is, allowing people to come into your life,maybe that you wouldn't automatically think to let in is definitely a good way to live.

Therefore, it is with mixed feelings that I will leave D.C. I still have about a week and a half left and I intend to make the best of it...after my nap.

19 July 2007

To Zion...

I have 2 more weeks left in D.C. and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. On one hand I miss Oklahoma like nobody's business. on the other hand, I wish I could take all the people I've come to know and stick them in the heartland. I'm going to miss my dept. but I feel the South Oval and the Union calling me and all the foolishness those locations entail. :)
I feel like I've learned and grown so much over the summer. It's odd to see the courses that life takes without really asking one's permission. There are some people I thought would be in my life for sometime and others I thought I were done,but life has a funny way of flippin' the script...
I have never missed Israel more than this week, with the exception of when we first got back.
A few hours ago I was at the Israeli Embassy listening to his excellency Mr. Ambassador to the US from Israel. I had heard him earlier that week on Tuesday,but had never been to the embassy so I went.
It's a good thing I did!
I saw my friend Gabe who is a mess and a half. He is kind of ornery and randy at times and tonight he was such a character.
I had the BEST hummus and falafel I've had since Israel and I almost cried. The food reminded me of so many beautiful experiences in Israel. It's interesting how closely the olfactory nerves are related to memory in the mind. I could eat falafel, pita and hummus for the rest of my life and not even care. Literally.
Secondly, I met this beautiful individual who was working at the embassy as a security guard. Granted, maybe I shouldn't have been talking to him,but we had a lovely conversation that we'll hopefully be able to continue soon:)
There's just something about Israelis. I'm just going to put it out there.

16 July 2007

Oh bless!

I can't stand dumb *** people.
Either people who act like God ran out of brain cells before He got to them, people with no manners, or people who try to provoke people to sin.
Being dumb is not cute. Ever. I hope that one day people, usually girls, with low self-esteem will one day wake up and realize that nobody likes an idiot.

I had a good day besides people acting outside of their good sense.

15 July 2007

Thoughts from the Metro

I get pensive sometimes especially at portals of transportation. Airports, harbors, Metro stations. They are terribly sad places when you think that someone is leaving someone they love maybe for a short time,maybe forever. You see the faces of so many people, and I at least, wonder about their story and hopes.
This time it was on the Metro. 2 things happened. First I saw an older couple and they were kissing and it wasn't the obnoxious making out that adolescents and insecure young adults do,they were kisses and embraces that were filled with gratitude and contentment. They looked perfectly happy and I wasn't envious,just kind of wistful.
Second, last night I see this middle-aged couple(they looked like professors)and they were giddy. They were joking,laughing, and genuinely happy to be in each other's company. He was a handsome older man and she was a beautiful woman. Both looked their age and it was beautiful. They started playing Scrabble on his Blackberry and chatting with me. Before I left she said, "You're so cute."
Usually I'd be annoyed-I hate being patronized,but she seemed really genuine and it was a compliment. Also her happiness kind of radiated from her smile and warmth for her companion.
As I got up from my seat, fairly late at night, she told me with a smirk and a twinkle in her husband's eyes, "Don't marry a Scrabble cheat. "
All the while they were holding hands.
I'm young enough not to be a total pessimist , however, as of now, all the relationships I have been in, all the guys have disappointed me in the end. It's sad because you invest emotions into individuals and fail to gain interest. Such is life.
Despite the setbacks, I'm fairly optimistic, at least naively hopeful that my broken road will lead me to someone,eventually who will continue to interest me and show that they care. I want someone who will indulge me and let me act silly( I hate that word) and play Scrabble with me on the Metro at night.
I'm content with myself, but I don't want to be in that 42% of black women who never marries...

09 July 2007

I just can't get you out of my head.

So today was obscenely hot everywhere that I went. Outside it was like a sauna,sans relaxation. In my department it was hot as all get out because the AC went out? That's not kosher. So all day I felt like I was Houston,with out the benefits of being in the H. :(...
I met a guy on Sat.
On that same day an individual I thought would play an integral part in my future basically shut down that idea. And an individual who I thought was an integral but over part of my pass,popped back up again. I am worried that if this latter individual keeps it up I'll never be able to fully get over him. I don't know if I want to is the weird thing. I wanted to be over him and did. In fact previous to that time I hadn't thought about him in a wistful way. Then all of a sudden like a $5.oo bill you forgot about he came back into my life and I wish he had either stayed and accumulated interest or been spent so I could move on.
This woman that I consider a mentor and good friend said it was because I was "meant to be with this person". I don't know how I feel about that because I don't know how I feel about Destiny. It's weird to think that even if I dated and got to know all these other guys it would be impossible for me to be whole unless I was with this one guy... I don't even want to think about that possibility.
I don't have time.
I have a project due, I'm tired. And I'm waiting for Mr. Mediterranean to call...

08 July 2007


Things I'm Thankful For/Happy About:
*Even though it's hot, it's not raining outside. I don't have to bust out the ark.
* I got to see some Oklahoma-D.C. people last night-that was alot of fun and a much needed injection of melanin in my life.
*My skin is acting right.
* I cleaned my room.
* Kaczenski is coming this week! He is a very good friend and I can't wait to be a tour guide :)
* I finished reading a book, so I can buy a new one!
*It's pay day this Friday! Cholla!
* I think I've made a truly good friend in Duffy. Even though he is busy delivering babies and being an all-star, he said he was going to call me this weekend-and then did. Marvels of all marvels.
* Destiny got back stateside safely and so did Jeanee.
*I'm keeping in touch with my friend Thomas. Il est vraiment gentil et je serais content quand il retourne.
* I met this Greek guy ( mignon) who seems really cool,but he works for Al-Jazeera. Not sure how I feel about that, but should make for an interesting conversation.
*I'm exploring my spirituality and learning a lot about Judaism.
*I'm going to start a 3 week "get my life right plan". Including exercising and eating more or less vegetarian. I'm excited because I've been getting compliments about my appearance but I think people are just flatterers. If I intentionally remix my lifestyle, I think it might make me believe them.
* I'm contemplating a tattoo...
*I think I'm going to see James Morrison/Ben Folds/John Mayer in like 2.5 weeks. I love them.
* This week is going to be good. I've already decided.

06 July 2007

"This is My United States of Whatever!"

We get to the mall, it's busy we make our way to the Jefferson and through the checkpoints. View T.Jazzy Jefferson as his friends called him and get told to evacuate because a tornadoe is fixin' to turn up the heat. Ironic thing is they told us to seek shelter at the Holocaust museum. It's only funny I guess because of the people I was with. So we wonder around, in the elements , because my loves are indecisive and we're all disconcerted. We finally get a taxi and head to Union Station where we are just happy to sit, yet we tempted fate and ordered food. Our waiter was maybe 3'4" and def. was rocking two huge rocks in his ear. Yes, his. He proceeds to look at us crazy and act up. Bryan asked for a water with no lemon and homestar simply takes the lemon off of one cup and puts it in another and gives Bryan the cup like " I bet you won't get krunk."
Mark's friends meet up with us and bust out Taboo on the floor until the security gaurd assumes we're bums and tells us we can't sit on the floor. Stellar.
We get back to the Jefferson,after getting the go ahead from ...I don't know from whom really. But we had a perfect spot to see the fireworks from. It's like they knew we wanted a spectacular show,along with the thousands of others. It was also a good bonding experience.
After the fireworks we actually were going to the Lincoln but along the way saw the mini-explosion and people running away and decided,prudently,against it.
It was a beautiful day and easily one of my highlights of the D.C. summer part. I met some great people of Road Trip Nation. Celebrated with my friends in the nation's capitol. Enjoyed a safe Independence Day in the nation's capitol and to top it off a cute British guy said I was "delightful, like a little crumpet". The day was mine!

04 July 2007

"It's Our Ephing 4th of July!"

So, today was the 4th of July, good ol' Independence day. That is if you're not one of those people who make it your personal mission to remember all the atrocities that America has committed against various groups. A friend reminded me that today wasn't his day of Independence and while I felt he was being a bit of a downer, he posed a good thought. Independence has not been fully achieved, we should strive to make it more complete.

Anyway, I wake up prepared to take in all the awesomeness that is the 4th on the capitol and get a call (at 10:42am mind you) saying people are meeting at Bryan's apt. in an hour. I get ready,change outfits a couple of times and roll out (on 20s) I bet that people won't be there until 1:00. Along the way, I see a giant green van. Anyone who knows me accurately knows that I'm nosey and friendly. So I start talking to a guy through the window, with a beautiful British accent and he invites me in.This guy was working on a PBS series, "Road Trip Nation" that I wanted to apply for. http://www.roadtripnation.com/ Matt was so cool and sweet and so were the rest, they go around road trippin' it up as well as interviewing notable people in different fields.

I kicked it with them for awhile, went to Bryan's left to change and our lovely friends STILL hadn't decided the course of action. (Anyone who knows me knows I DETEST indecision)We decide to head to the Mall, one with the monuments, not shops. Everyone and their mum is there...

I'll cont. tomorrow when I'm not exhausted...

02 July 2007


Things that annoyed me alot over the past two days:
* Being more on guard than usual because of the heightened alert
Terrorism is horridly repulsive. I admire Israelis for their badassness,I think that word is actually resilience. I was a little on edge after the recent happenings,but remembered that life must go on...
* People who disrespect other people!
This security lady in the Metro capped an attitude with me when I asked her how I would go about using the restroom. Granted I said, and I quote, "Ma'am (trying to be polite because she was old,but not like a cool type of old) if I wanted to use the restroom, how would I go about doing that(keeping in mind that the BATHROOM AREA WAS LOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IT WAS LIKE A CLOSET) And this individuals rolls her eyes and says " You would ask?"
Oh yea? To quote my lil' homie from Talladega Nights, "I might be 10 but I'll beat your ***" (I don't condone violence,but those kids are awesome.) She was so rude and condescending to me and it was wholly necessary...She's lucky I'm trying not to go to jail ever...
* Indecisive people
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not anti social, but I hate waiting around for people to get their lives right and decide what to do. I'm a doer, I do stuff and make things happen. I think life is too serious to waste it deciding things (in most cases) than doing stuff...
*Wasting time
Seriously, stop.
* Trifling People
When one is in a relationship and then a random member of the opposite sex comes along and then one ends up randomly not being in a relationship,that's trifling in my opinion. But it's a good thing I don't care...
*Incompetent people
Dude the Credit Union moved from "On Notice" to "Dead to Me". I waited a good 14 days for my debit card. I am now on day 5 of waiting for my freaking pin number. I am not a happy camper and can't wait to take my business elsewhere. The best thing is that NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING! "Oh, ma'am, I don't know" Well, what are they paying you for,if you don't know anything?"
* Despite these trivial matters, I am still having a summer that's grand like a piano! No work tomorrow,my Kaczenski is coming to visit next week and NY is calling my name this weekend!