You're going to make it after all...

So it's only the 2nd day of the 2nd week of school and I am stressed.
Fortunately, I have a mother who won't let me indulge in pity parties for long, close friends who listen and help me put things in perspective, and the uncanny belief that God loves me and wants me to be happy...

Je m'aime et donc...

There is an incredible amount of freedom that comes from loving oneself-not the narcissistic mess but genuine appreciation for the person one has become or is becoming.
I feel like I've reached a place or at least fairly close to reaching a place that many adults haven't reached in their development where they can say that the love themselves.
A gentleman who is like a mentor to me says all the time that "You have to get a Ph.D in yourself"-This is real talk.
When you begin to wrestle and work through all of the things that make you tick the hope is that you can fine peace in the complexities that make up human existence.
Loving yourself frees others to love you and allows you to love others.
Because I love myself I am able to love my family that God has blessed me with even when they're difficult.
Because I love myself, I can love my best friends and not get jealous of them.
Because I love myself, I don't have to size up or judge every other female in a 10 mile radius of me because I know I'm not perfect the way that I am,but I am what I am therefore tripping about someone else is wholly unnecessary.
Because I love myself I can reach out to others even if it is unreciprocated however,because I love myself, I won't (any longer :( ) deal with individuals who don't love me as much as I love myself or them. I don't think this is a bad thing, it just makes sense.
Probably more on this developing belief later in the year. But the thought came as a result of seeing people, not limited to freshmen,who for some reason or another don't seem to like themselves.
There's an amazing amount of clarity that comes from deciding to get your life right...and choosing not to care about insignificant events.

Muy Caliente

This song is en fuego although the original is better by Sergio Mendes.

God blessed the broken road...

I just walked away from/said goodbye to my Kostos.Surprisingly, I didn't cry-I think I'm growing up. Either that or I am ready to get the hell out of dodge. It's a good mix, I'd suppose.
I'm horrid with goodbyes, like wretched.Friday was my last day of work and I said I wasn't going to cry(lying to oneself is NOT a good way to live) yet I proceeded to tear up, my little nose reddening and such and cried like nobody's business. There's just something a tad disconcerting about one phase of your life ending and new possibilities(the unknown) beginning.
I've met so many interesting,sketch,fabulous individuals up here and I know I'm going to miss them. However, tears don't change things and so I must change my outlook. The summer has been miraculously awesome.I'm thankful for having the opportunity to go to Israel for the lessons I've learned this summer and the opportunity to live and work in our nation's capitol.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this is only the beginning of a curious relationship with this crazy city.
I've changed in some ways. And now my time in D.C. is done.
I'm a little bit sad, but more anxious to get back to the heartland. Something keeps pulling me back to Norman-It's like a magnet.
I feel like God has blessed the broken road that keeps leading me back to Norman, semester after semester.
What possibilities!

Gathering my thoughts. And belongings.

So I am officially one week a way from completing my internship. I'm so sad and I'm finding it harder and harder to believe that I'm actually fixin' to go back. However,I am anxious to return to a place where"fixin' to" is not an anomaly but a way of life.
It's scary to think how much I have learned and grown in so many ways. I left the country for the first time(no, I don't count Mexico) I've met some amazing guys(Amen! Hallelujah!) and have grown closer to the person I want to be.
I've also decided on some good ways to live. It's become one of my catchphrases ;)
*Setting up boundaries is key to life:
I let this girl stay with me from my internship because she was in need and needed a place to stay. I'm not a saint, so I don't know why I let this ingrate annoy me for so long. I ALWAYS intended for it to be temporary and I guess she didn't. She stayed for about 4 weeks grating on my nerves making my life a little less happy and I regret that I didn't ask her to leave earlier.
Moral of the Story(MOS) had I had the chutzpah to tell her when to go(tell me when to go...) I might have still liked this individual. This is not the case. I found out that she was ungrateful,feckless and just not a good person.
*Being assertive is a good way to live:
Some editor at the school paper thought it would be a good idea to talk(write?) crazy to me after I have helped her this whole summer with columns because she needed assistance. Instead of being hurt, I kindly sent her an e-mail explaining how her actions were unnecessary and uncalled for. I wasn't rude.very,but I did let her know she had no right to act so disdainfully toward me. I'm not conceited,but I think I'm an alright gal.
* Embracing life to the fullest is a good way to live:
I've done so many awesome things this summer, that I never would have thought possible.Traveling overseas, interning 9 to 6, living in D.C. none of this would have been possible or as fulfilling had I not been open to embrace what life had to offer. I actually, as corny as this sounds remember OU's first president's remark "What possibilities!" This is a good way to live.
* I've gained sooooo many books.
I basically have resumed reading like a fiend. An activity that the academic year often hinders but reading for pleasure is absolutely one of my favourite activities.
* Amongst many other good ways to live is being open to friendship. Through my internship and traveling I've met so many upstanding,outstanding people. Genuinely amazing people that I wish to keep with me forever. In my pocket. Well, not so much because that would suffocate them. Point is, allowing people to come into your life,maybe that you wouldn't automatically think to let in is definitely a good way to live.


Therefore, it is with mixed feelings that I will leave D.C. I still have about a week and a half left and I intend to make the best of it...after my nap.

To Zion...

I have 2 more weeks left in D.C. and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. On one hand I miss Oklahoma like nobody's business. on the other hand, I wish I could take all the people I've come to know and stick them in the heartland. I'm going to miss my dept. but I feel the South Oval and the Union calling me and all the foolishness those locations entail. :)
I feel like I've learned and grown so much over the summer. It's odd to see the courses that life takes without really asking one's permission. There are some people I thought would be in my life for sometime and others I thought I were done,but life has a funny way of flippin' the script...
I have never missed Israel more than this week, with the exception of when we first got back.
A few hours ago I was at the Israeli Embassy listening to his excellency Mr. Ambassador to the US from Israel. I had heard him earlier that week on Tuesday,but had never been to the embassy so I went.
It's a good thing I did!
I saw my friend Gabe who is a mess and a half. He is kind of ornery and randy at times and tonight he was such a character.
I had the BEST hummus and falafel I've had since Israel and I almost cried. The food reminded me of so many beautiful experiences in Israel. It's interesting how closely the olfactory nerves are related to memory in the mind. I could eat falafel, pita and hummus for the rest of my life and not even care. Literally.
Secondly, I met this beautiful individual who was working at the embassy as a security guard. Granted, maybe I shouldn't have been talking to him,but we had a lovely conversation that we'll hopefully be able to continue soon:)
There's just something about Israelis. I'm just going to put it out there.

Oh bless!

I can't stand dumb *** people.
Either people who act like God ran out of brain cells before He got to them, people with no manners, or people who try to provoke people to sin.
Being dumb is not cute. Ever. I hope that one day people, usually girls, with low self-esteem will one day wake up and realize that nobody likes an idiot.

I had a good day besides people acting outside of their good sense.