You're doing fine Oklahoma...Except that you're not.

So before today, I admit, reluctantly, that I was naive about the university. I viewed our President as a benevolent almost paternal figure who genuinely cared about my well-being and my fellow students' well-being. At least that's what I remember thinking when I heard speak of the "OU family" and such.
Before today, I believed that my life was significant or at least a little bit special to that trifecta of goodness. If for nothing else because I'm an out of state student, I thought that my existence mattered a little. Today I was kicked from that cloud by the realization that our University President, Provost, and Board of Regents wished death upon me and my fellow students.
No they didn't verbalize this death wish.
They didn't have to.
They basically said "Eph yo life" when they insisted, foolishly, on having finals today despite the wintry hell(ironic,but true) that ravaged the Midwest (OKLAHOMA INCLUDED)
I received an e-mail saying that finals would resume Tuesday as planned.This was a brilliant idea,save the trees in the road, 25,000+ people(including students,faculty and staff) without power and general idiocy of expecting people to be prepared or in one piece for finals after being without electricity,heat, and wireless.
That being said, I am grateful that in all of their benevolent wisdom our Board of Regents decided to cancel their meeting and reschedule it for tomorrow. I'm happy that they weren't endangered by braving tree laden roads. I'm thankful that some administrators are warm and safe with their Christmas lights. This genuinely makes me happy as I think about the thousands of individuals,not just students, not just in Oklahoma, who are cold and distraught.
I'm done harping on this unfortunate event, this lapse in judgement, this sheer stupidity.
Walking on campus in the monsoon like conditions was one thing. I'm grateful I had electricity,heat,food,electricity and such. Walking on campus was like walking through a fairy tale where a giant just got pissed and started ripping out trees and just chunking them places. It was also like fording the Mississippi, Ohio, Tigris, Euphrates, Nile, Amazon and whatever other massive bodies of water you can think of.
Whatever.
I guess it really doesn't matter that our campus was nearly unnavigable.
It was cute to worry about being stuck down, not by God but by an unruly tree branch. And by branch I mean trunk.
I'm over it.

...Actually I'm not over it at all. I wish I could call Dubya and commend him for getting his life right. He declared it a state of emergency today.
Say what you will about him,but that fool has learned his lesson. After Katrina and Rita he hears the wind blowing to loudly and he's like "Aww hell, eh heh heh, let me call FEMA", other people hear the freaking winds sweeping down the plains and they press on with finals.
I realize I've been overly harsh.
I stand corrected. I should apologize for my harsh words and sarcasm.
Well done.
You're doing fine Oklahoma!
Except that you're not.

A Bobby and Michael Story

So this one time...
my friends and I were minding our business,per usual :), after a party(Last Jamz if you must know) and decided that we were hungry.
The idea fell upon us almost simultaneously: I.H.O.P. (For those of you who don't know I.H.O.P. is an acronym that means "International House Of Pancakes")
Anyway, so we go to I.H.O.P. which is the spot after most parties and we see all sorts of odd people, per usual.
We order and see Michael sit down, he takes off his coat and it says "Security". I was kind of confused what he was security of, as it appeared that I could take him, but I think Michael would have liked it...
So then his friend, Bobby,comes up and sits down and they commence talking about all sorts of things rather loudly. We heard snippets of their conversation "doggy style" comes out "she's ephin' cute" and such. The whole conversation is hilarious and ridiculous. Michael is just talking about how hard it is to work security and about his co-workers and such.
Suddenly, they realize we're listening to their conversation. I didn't care at all. It was interesting.
Then they keep talking and looking over and we're laughing at them/with them.
Eventually, I get up to go to the restroom and hear laughter,but I ignore it. I look back at my friends who are also laughing and see what went down when I got back from the restroom.
"They said you had a nice body on you," said one friend who thought this was hilarious.
Although I was taken aback, my friends and I start busting out laughing again and Michael and Bobby are still looking at us.
A few minutes later we overhear, "Three hot girls are NOT going to want to have a threesome."
It was positively HILARIOUS!
Bobby and Michael were bold.
I know I'm going to miss times like this...

Boo to Bureaucracy

3 weeks are all that stand between me and the great unknown (i.e. France,this energy I'm involved with...)
I'm still planning on studying in France. It's gettin' hard for yer girl though because the French are striking(per usual), rioting in les banlieues(the "ghettos"/projects/hoods/wards)(per usual) and being a nuisance to Americans (me in the instance)
I have to get a visa. This is not a work visa. If I work there I will be an illegal immigrant. Which is oddly appealing for me to be in France,because really what are they going to do to me? Retreat?
Anyway, on their consulate websites they say you have to go a specific one based on your region. I find that to be incredibly and undeniably whack with a capital feckless! Just because I happen to be posted up in OK, or NE doesn't mean i shouldn't be able to go D.C.(which will be most convenient for me) to get the visa which is just a blimey stamp!
I talked to several French women I'm sure I could take if I had to, who acted as if my desire to go where I wanted to go to get my visa done was ludicrous.
One lady in particular,after relaying my predicament, remarked,as if I asked for her commentary "Why would you want to do that?"
She almost made me lose my mind...and my manners.
I hope everything works out. I really do.
Right now a lot of factors are making it look kind of dubious...

Tears Dry on their Own

So there's this trite cliche (redundant i know) that says "the person worth your tears won't make you cry".
I don't know how I feel about that. Because there's this guy I know who hasn't made me cry,but maybe might have had me on the verge...
Life and relationships are complex. As Maroon 5 says "it' snot always rainbows and butterflies it's compromise that moves us along".
I've acknowledged that there are some things I will have to change but "I'd rather live in his world than live without him in mine."
That's how I feel right now at least.
That could change if he doesn't get his life right.

So little to do, so much time...strike that reverse it.

*our loss to ephing tech yesterday made me curse.aloud. multiple times. i'd rather not discuss it ever again.
*i had my education abroad orientation yesterday and i am overwhelmed,but more focused i think. there's so much to do before i can chunk up the deuce to the south and the north. but i'm mentally ready. the emotional readiness won't hit me until...the flight?

Things I must do:
*get ticket
*get visa
*get packed to move out of norman temporarily
*get coverage for repatriation of remains, haha. but seriously.
*decide what i'm doing this summer...
*get my life right.

*we have 3 weeks of school left and i don't want to do anything academic associated. does that make me a bad person? maybe,but i'm okay with that.

Beautiful Surprise...

Beautiful Surprise
"It's like yesterday I didn't even know your name
Now todayYou're always on my mind
I never could have predicted that I'd feel this way
You are a beautiful surprise
Intoxicated every time I hear your voice
You've got me on a natural high
It's almost like I didn't even have a choice
You are a beautiful surprise
Whatever it is that you came to teach me
I am here to learn it cause
I believe that we are written in the stars
I don't know what the future hold
But I'm living in the moment
And I'm thankful for the man that you are, you are, you are
You are everything I ask for in my prayers
So I know my angels brought you to my life
Your energy is healing to my soul
You are a beautiful surprise
You are an inspiration to my life
You are the reason why I smile
You are a beautiful surprise"
-India.Arie
So there's this guy/man/energy in my life that has made me so happy. He just popped back in my life a couple of weeks after four months. Instead of questioning his poor timing we just went with it and it's been beautiful. I don't know what"it" is,but it's good and brings me so much happiness. I'm trying not to get caught up,but he makes me think poetry and speak songs.
That's it.

This is the first day of my life...

Today was perfectly blissful.This happy feeling started quite early in the morning,but that's another story for another time ;)

Anyway.

I got my computer back!(Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!) So that started the day off grand like a piano.

The weather kept the chill it's been playing with this entire week,but it was lovely.

I've always held to the mantra "We can live without friends,we can live without books,but civilized man cannot live without books." I can't remember who said that,but it speaks to my heart. I bought a book today, a book I didn't need for any practical purpose,save that it made me happy. My conclusion: BEGIN READING "EAT,LOVE,PRAY". I just started today and I'm devouring it. I started it on the bus,went home to read it, and read it in French class. The story is beautiful and I want it to be my life(living in different countries and learning about who I am and such) minus a nasty divorce...I feel like the beginning of that journey is in January when I chunk up the deuce to les Etats-Unis pour Bordeaux.

Monday is when I told the girls they can start talking about my departure. They haven't really listened to me,but it's easier for me,for now, if I can suppress the preemptive sadness right now.

I had a thought today that I thought was deep,but Luke wasn't terribly impressed.

Thesis: Some people are destined to NOT find their soul mate because their soul counterpart has been shared in a lot of different people throughout that said individual's lifetime.

I even went to my french composition class which I find to be painfully dull,except today it was bareable because I had my new book :)

Anyway, after class I had cafe with my Thomas. Il est un de la plus gentil hommes du monde(Don't judge my french grammar)

Then I went to exercise for the first time in about a few weeks and it felt so good. My body has been looking less than ideal in my eyes,but I'm not obsessing. Life is too serious.

After that, one of the best parts: I went running today! I started at the dorms and ran to the North Oval and swang back around. Few things make me happier than running in the Fall. The strain ,burn and pain are temporary but the high stays for awhile. The cool air counteracted my rising body heat and cleared my mind. I reached some sort of mini-Nirvana while running. Even as my little nose reddened and my ribs started to ache, I felt wonderful.

After that, I got Pumpkin Custard! I love Pumpkin flavored food and drink.

The goodness didn't end there.

To end this beautiful day, I got a massage from this massage therapist and it felt Fabulous.

These seem like little things but it was just a grand day. Now, I'm going to read my delightful book and fall asleep with travel and love on my mind.