10 March 2009

Stylin' and other thoughts...

*I'm sore. and glad of it.
I've recently begun rock climbing. Like yesterday, and I'm already addicted. I've wanted to for the past three years and finally decided to just do it yesterday. I'm alright so far, I didn't fall yesterday which is great and each time I took to the wall, I became a little less afraid of falling.
How applicable to life.
*I hope that I will retain that resiliency in all aspects of my life...speaking of resiliency.
It's been almost a year since the breaking and it's amazing to think about where I was emotionally and where I am now.
It's funny, because I'm starting to read over my notes , e-mails and journal entries from the beginning to the end of my time over there and the part where he was in it,at least in France, was crazy. So much self-doubt and confusion. Which some of that might have been healthy because I've never had a reason to doubt myself in that way, ever and a certain amount of self-analysis is beneficial and healthy,but I don't think towards the end it was at all and I wanted to hang on so long.Just the other day I was reading over an e-mail and thought "if only I had...perhaps I would have kept him".That's silly of course. You can't keep someone (anyone actually) but especially not one who doesn't want to be with you.
Oh but how I pray for him so often. I used to breathe prayers for him and now it's triggered. Baby steps.
*I've internalised that I am at my happiest when a)I'm around international friends or at an international event b)with my friends and family (don't get it twisted I LOVE my four closest friends and family but I LOVE being in new places and new experiences. That means I probably need to chunk up the deuce to these shores soon.
*It annoys me a lot when people make fun of my major. Each major program has its strengths and weaknesses and each college has it's attractions and drawbacks.It's easy for me because I'm good at it. I don't think that everyone can write well especially people that aren't creative.
*I'm a complex person. I'm easy-going, personable etc.,but I'm human. I wish people wouldn't try me...
That's all. Very random, but that's it.

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